WHEN I GROW UP seems to be a common word assemblage lately…as in when I grow up I’m going to be a fireman, astronaut, doctor, or–


WHERE did we go so wrong as a culture that so many from all the strata of society, gay men to trailer trash to young professionals find themselves trapped in a spiral of addiction and despair?
Is it a disconnect from reality that is so desperately desired? Is it the added intensity that comes during sex, hours and hours on end? What, exactly is the draw?

DON’T GET ME WRONG I’ve tried everything shy of a needle-never understood that much work for a buzz-yet knew to pull back when things were looking too intense. It was a combo of suspect “friends” and loss of productivity, coupled with feeling like shit the next day that would shake me out of a stupor and back to reality. Did I have an ON/OFF switch that others lacked?
Why did some become so addicted to alcohol, drugs or internet porn (Duchovny, listening?) while I could party like a ROCK STAR and then walk away, not JONESING or begging to score at 4 ayem off a dirty street corner? Was there in fact a gene that made one susceptible to repeat desire to the extreme? Science says yes, yet were there in fact other factors involved? Addiction seemed to include all demographics, from RUSH LIMBAUGH to Indio methheads. 
I WANT TO blame people for their own actions when they veer wildly out of control, but deeper issues are at stake, and it’s just not fair to judge others when we don’t know the intimate details of a life gone awry. Conjecture doesn’t really help, either. Best to just be supportive if possible. Addicts don’t want your opinion, they want their high, from food to heroin to Jack Daniels. 

BANNING SUBSTANCES won’t change things, for one can always find something to crave uncontrollably if that’s intrinsic to one’s personality.

I am thankful every day that I can keep these potential problems in check. I wish everyone else could, too. Then friends like JOHNNY THUNDERS and TED DEMME would still be with us today. 

One Response to “THUNDER ROAR”


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