The Simple Pleasures

Disneyland. Last visit: age 13. A few years ago.

A little disappointed, in this steroid society, to see the castle, all squat and unimpressive. Then I realize, the historic preservationist that I am comes to fore, and the castle is from another era…a time when things didn’t have to be S U P E R, a time after the Empire State Building when we thought HIGH like Outer Space and the Moon. Everything on earth was scaled down to a human level, from mid-century modern dwellings to sensible cars, Cadillac excluded.  

Disney World Orlando killed the scale of the original. Still, we spent a huge bloc of time in Tomorrowland, tasting the future, but missing the earlier version, with it’s whimsy and sleek interpretations of tomorrow, from If You Had Wings to the house of the future…the contemporary version was rather charm free, cold and uninvolving: you know, like the future likely really will be.

Money Money Money! You can buy things, buy things, buy useless things with it, and Disneyland is the capitol of Useless Merchandise. Exiting most rides leads directly into a boutique chock full of swag from bling ears to Star Wars and on and on. It’s a frenzy, and must be a drag for parents to constantly say no, we aren’t going to buy that. 

Favorite ride: Nemo subs, even though I really liked the old school ride it replaced. 
The Tiki Room EXIT NAZI BIRDS were creepy, please STAND UP, applaud, and while you are at it, walk quickly to the exits without delay…or else! At least it wasn’t just the German accented parrot barking commands. I expected Arbiet Macht Frei over the exit doors.

The lines were minimal this time of year, and the rides are still really cool, like SPACE MOUNTAIN and SPLASH MOUNTAIN and MAGIC MOUNTAIN — oops, wrong park. The staff was a real mix from a Kyle/Time Warner tranny (really!) boarding the JUNGLE CRUISE crowds, to some Olde Folke and fatties…a real sweet cross section of multiculti diverse America. The veggie burger in Tomorrowland (i know…) was reminiscent- no, EXACTLY as one would imagine shoe leather to be. A blowtorch would have made it edible, perhaps. 

A beautiful SoCal global warming Friday. One in a million. Eighty degrees this week. Greenhouse gasses, bring it on.

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