As Your (Shadow) President

President Oldenkamp. Doesn’t roll off the tongue so well. But this isn’t about image. It’s about how I–as your president–plan to turn around the USA.

 

First, thank you for not voting Republican. If there ever was a noble aspect to that party, well, that’s a distant memory. It’s the Land of the Selfish White Man and needs a major overhaul. Witness the link to the Judiciary Committee. Contrast the Republicans on the RIGHT of course to the Dems on the LEFT. http://www.judiciary.house.gov/about/members.html 
It’s time to set some rules here. 
1. Universal Health Care. Period. End of Story. If you want elective or VIP service, pay accordingly. Everyone else, cover us and cover us now, encourage medicine in schools, and fund stem cell and other state of the art r & d. 
2. Schools. Fix ’em. Pay teachers. Bring back the arts. Public schools are our lifesblood.
3. Gays in the Military. Guess what? They’re already there. So, leave ’em alone. As your C0mmander-In-Chief, I will not allow bigotry in the armed forces. 
4. Gay Marriage. Not a threat to anyone. Opposition to gay marriage is opposition to all marriage. Think about it. 
5. Marijuana. Legalize it. Make the swab test or blood test a police tool to combat hard core stoned drivers. That should be the only restriction. Tax it like hell and pay for our crumbling infrastructure while getting the criminals out of our forests. Win, win, win.
6. Nuclear Weapons and Power. Buh-bye. Why risk the entire planet for an energy source or cataclysmic weapon? It’s beyond crazy. People all over Europe are still metastasizing the fallout from Chernobyl. It’s forever, people. Harness the winds, tides and sun. 
7. Immigration. We have ten guest worker programs already on the books in the U.S. Enforce them, pay workers a proper wage, and if we pay fifty cents more for a head of lettuce, it’s still a lot cheaper than a gallon of gas. 
8. The U.N. Beef it up. Give it some juice. Make it the world defender, not us. Let’s work on things here at home.
Thanks, and I look forward to your vote for my SHADOW PRESIDENCY 
this November.
Roy Rogers Oldenkamp, Hollywood, July 2008
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